In Memoriam: Robert Refsell 1924-2010

This is what I read at Grandpa's funeral:

Time
The strong scent of coffee,
the soft sound of dawn
but for him the day had already begun.
The cows and the pigs by now had been fed,
he is so anxious,
the time is now here
because he is the planter and
he's waited a year.
A crack in the sky, he steps into his cab
and gets settled in.
Then with the turn of the key
the monster roars.
A puff of smoke and the scent of exhaust
with a trail of dust,
he smiles then sighs.
The light of his life that makes things grow.
It shines in his eyes as it gives warmth to the cab.
Sweat rolls down his back and the scent of spring soil fills his mind once again,
he works through the night and goes home with relief
as the moon shines high.
His fields are planted,
he sits at the table with content.
Gives thanks to the Lord and then breaks his bread.
A product of his life.
1993

Good Afternoon. I'm Jennifer, the one who is always introduced as "the oldest grandchild". I wrote that poem when I was 15 years old.

Many of you may not be aware of who I am, or maybe you know me through the millions of pictures that my grandparents have as one of the 9 grandchildren. You also probably know how much that Robert loved his grandchildren.

Each of us had our own special relationship with Grandpa. But each of us also had similar relationships. We've all vacationed in Texas, been camping at Wolden Campground and stayed up at the cabin with both he and Grandma. All of us have slept over with them and tried our hardest to get up early enough to go to McDonald's for coffee in the morning with Grandpa and the guys. We'd go on bike rides with him, or just walk. We've all ridden in the cab of his tractor, on the three-wheeler, the snowmobile and in the truck. I think we've all been to more than one antique tractor show and remember him in his bib overalls and riding in the tractor parades.

But what he and Grandma may not be aware of is how much we all love and admire them. They may not realize how much of an influence they've had on our lives.

I often wonder if they realize that nearly half of their grandchildren work for seniors?

I personally work in the home care field, working so that seniors can age in place. I visit clients from all walks of life, but my favorites are always the farmers. Most of them remind me of Grandpa in one way or another. They are the ones that I can sit and chat with for hours. They're impressed with what very limited knowledge I have about farming. And believe me, it's limited. I'm able to have these relationships because of Grandpa. I treat them the way I would want my grandfather treated--with love, dignity and respect. More than once, I've been told that they feel like I'm a granddaughter to them. That lets me know I'm doing my job the right way.

Grandma, you've had quite an influence on all of your grandchildren, as well. You have several children who love to sew, quilt, crochet, garden and bake. Unfortunately, I wasn't one who learned your amazing skills of cleaning, nor can I keep a houseplant alive to save my life. My husband can attest to that. But I can sew and bake.

As I've grown older, I've realized more of what it takes to be a good wife, and how important it is to love and honor my husband. Much of this, I've only learned in the past couple of years-- and I'm still learning. But much of it, I've learned from you, Grandma. I've watched you care for Grandpa over the years, as well as how wonderfully kind and patient you've been as he's lived with Alzheimer's and lost so many memories. You are a true example of "in sickness and in health".

Grandpa, you will be greatly missed. There are holes in the hearts of all of your grandchildren. But those holes will slowly be patched together as we find ways to honor and share your memory. Your great-grandchildren will know who you were and how much we love you. They will know and love our memories of you. They will hear our stories of getting up at the crack of dawn for coffee.